National Center for Bullying Prevention
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What Bullying Is and Is Not
Arguments. Confrontations. Fighting. This behavior happens between siblings, schoolmates, teammates, even best friends. Unkind words might be spoken. Names may be called. Pushes can lead to shoves.
Is it bullying? In many cases, it is not. Usually, such quarrels are simply clashes that can be resolved with an apology over cookies and milk. They are a normal part of growing up and learning social skills.
Sometimes, however, these actions are intentional acts of bullying. To help distinguish bullying from routine childhood conflicts, look for these hallmarks*:
- Bullying is intentional. The target does not knowingly provoke the bully and may have made it clear that the behavior is unwelcome.
- The behavior is often repetitive. Bullying generally is carried out repeatedly over time. It can sometimes be a single incident.
- The incident involves hurtful acts, words, or other behavior. Bullying is an oppressive or negative act intended to hurt someone else.
- The act is committed by one or more people against another. Bullying can be done by a single person or by a group.
- There is a real or perceived imbalance of power. A child without power cannot bully. Power can be defined as either physical strength, social status, or intimidating behavior.
*Adapted from Preventing Bullying: A Manual for Schools and Communities, U.S. Dept of Education
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