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Good Advice

Posted: 11/4/2011

Feel picked on? here are some tips that will help you deal with the problem:

Find support from another, more positive group of people not associated with the people picking on you. Make sure they are positive supportive people and spend time with them doing things you love.

Limit or eliminate contact with those who are picking on you.

Find a professional counselor or organization online or by phone that can help you. Usually these are anti-bullying organizations. You can contact them and they can help you find someone to talk with.

Take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise as this will improve your overall health.

Tell your friends and family what is happening to you and write it down so that you can prove that someone is picking on you if you can and show this to an adult if you are under 18.

Ask the person to stop directly and politely the first and second times they do this. Talk to them directly and ask them politely to stop. If that doesn’t work, tell someone who can help you and bring them in as a witness only if you feel physicially safe to do this.

Find other sources of positive activities, things, and people. Instead of focusing on your problems, talk to new friends about your interests and activities and find out about theirs.  Talk about your problems with a counselor, teacher, or other trust-worthy adult or peer to which you know you can confide.

Educate yourself on what healthy and unhealthy relationships should feel and be like and follow those guidelines when you build and maintain relationships to keep relationships strong and healthy. You can also improve your social skills if you don’t feel socially confident by reading books and learning from reliable sources on the internet. Developing your confidence will help you make new healthy friendships and maybe defend against problem relationships.

Vent. Sometimes venting stress to a close friend or other person in your life will help you release the stress of the event, but try not to repeatedly replay one incident in your mind. If you are being picked on, the bullying is NOT your fault.  Bullies like to put the blame on the person they are picking on so don’t let them make you feel like it is your fault or your inferior to them.

Step in if it is safe to do so if you see someone being bullied. Side with the person being picked on and say something positive about them to the bully.

Use the situation to make a change. Sometimes the situation is negative. Take the bully’s comment or the situation and let it teach you what you need to change if there is any validity to the message behind the comment. There, though, is a difference between critism, constructive critism, and bullying. Learn about these and notice the differences if these occur.

Remind yourself of your positive traits if someone picks on you and stand up for yourself without attacking the other person.

Try to be kind the first time. Sometimes people don’t realize that their comments/actions are hurtful or how they come across to you. Politely tell them how you felt about the situation and then say that you would really like (what situation change) in its place.

Always find someone to speak with confidentially about the situations so you don’t deal with bullying by yourself. They could help you find ways to deal with the situation.

Do not give up. Situations pass and things will change for the positive and you will find a better situation.

By: Casey H.

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Tell A Teacher You Trust At School

Posted: 10/18/2011

Hi all - I'm a high school math teacher, and I was bullied often in middle school, mostly because I cared more about success and my grades than being popular. I remember coming home from school crying to my mom because someone wrote For a good time, call (my phone number) inside a bathroom stall - in the GIRL'S bathroom! With the help of some great teachers, my true friends, and family, I grew up to be proud of the person that I am, and to not let what other people say hurt me. Music and theatre was my outlet and I found acceptance there. Now I am married to an amazing man and have wonderful friends who love me for me - especially for my dorky and weird side! Just want to encourage anyone who feels bullied to TELL A TEACHER YOU TRUST AT SCHOOL! I would hate to know that I could have helped one of my students in an awful situation and not have the opportunity - although we look for signs of bullying there is so much we don't see.

By: Alison

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A Mile

Posted: 10/18/2011

Walk a mile in my shoes;
I bet you'll trip and fall.
You may know my name,
but do you know me at all?
Be me for a day;
See what I see,
do what I do,
and when it's too overwhelming
will you be able to pull through?
You may think you know my every flaw,
you think you have it right,
but soon you'll realize:
You can't even fight MY fight.
You may stereotype me;
Call me what you want,
but who are you to criticize;
To run around and flaunt?
I'm a person like you
with my own ways of dealing
and in the process of finding ourselves,
we find ways of healing.
So walk a mile in my shoes,
and I bet you'll trip and fall.
You may think you know me,
But you don't know me at all.

By: Kate

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Ancient History

Posted: 10/17/2011

I used to be a bully. I was horrible to so many kids and I used the excuse of having bad things happening in my life, not realizing that the kids that I bullied could have some bad things happening in their lives as well.

I learned about a kid’s life that I bullied. And it was horrible. It sucks now that I look back and know that I just added more pain. Once I figured it out, I wrote him a letter telling him how sorry I was.

Fortunately to this day he and I are friends. I feel so lucky that he forgave me. Now I am a completely different person and if you ask my peers at school they would say I am the sweetest kid they know.

I want to help the bullied and those that bully. I stand up for kids who are picked on and I will leave my lunch table and go sit with someone that is sitting by themselves even though it not what everyone else is doing. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE BULLIED.

And for those that bully, I ask that you try to put yourself in that kid's shoes and wonder what they have to deal with at school AND HOME. Hopefully when we all get older we can just tell our kids about how people USED TO BE bullied because they were different or an easy target and say that we are glad THAT IT NO LONGER EXISTS.

Hopefully one day this will all be ancient history. For the bullied kids I want you to know that you are loved and cared for and that it will stop. Try your hardest to stay strong. Peace luv rock-n-roll.

By: Marie

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It's Not Fair

Posted: 10/17/2011

My sister and I have always been kind of awkward and odd people. However, we are treated very differently among our peers. In high school, I was the sweet girl that everyone liked. I was awkward and goofy and I think people thought I was unique and they loved that about me. I always had friends and I was always smiling. I don't ever remember being unhappy.

My sister was the happiest little kid. She was always smiling. It was't until middle school when she started to all of a sudden express sadness through her clothing. She only wore black. That was supposedly her favorite color. My mom would watch her walk home some days and some kids would pick on her. She is the out spoken girl and awkward and goofy, but kids didn't like that about her. In high school the bullying became secretive. Girls used the website FORMSPRING.com as easy access to bully her. They would call her anorexic, annoying and so on. Once girls in high school felt they could get stomp on my sister even more, they used Facebook.com as a way to bully her. They would torment her. At school, they would trip her.

My sister and I have the same personalities. My peers embraced my personality. Her peers, they have bullied her into the hospital. My sister was diagnosed with depression and was rushed to the hospital due to cutting herself several times deeply. She is currently in a rehab facilitation.

What satisfaction do people get out of bullying? Is it fun? I will never understand.

By: Anonymous

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What Makes You Better Than Me?

Posted: 10/17/2011

You girls act so cool,
Really who are you trying to fool?
What makes you better than me?
NOTHING as far as I can see.

Truthfully, in ways we are all the same,
But here's the difference to you life's a game.
That's why it's my goal to make it far,
And for you I bet I see you again, Alone in a bar

I'm tired of the laughing in my face
And I'm tired of the rumors but in that case
I was stronger than you all thought,
Never were you sorry, maybe when you got caught.

Sorry forgive me if this seems rude,
But dealing with all of you, I'm not in to good of a mood.
Go ahead laugh now I really don't see whats funny,
Get a life and leave mine alone,
instead of worrying about me find a job and make some money.

By: Amy

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MOVING ON

Posted: 10/17/2011

Maybe if it didn't last so long, I wouldn't be so mad.
The number of you girls kept growing and I know how to add.
It was really pathetic, No let's call it sad.
The way you all stood outside my house in hoards,
Didn't you guys ever get bored.?

I never thought I did anything wrong,
I was just hanging out and trying to get along.
But I guess my  was already chosen for me.
You all knocked me down so I could learn to pick myself back up,
And reach the best me I could ever be.

It didn't take me long, although I sure thought it would.
I knew I'd figure it out I knew I could.
Now I'm starting my climb to the top
Enjoying watching all your mouths drop.

By: Amy

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MOVING ON

I Never Realized

Posted: 10/10/2011

When I was in elementary school. I think I always felt the need to belong. I had to belong. I couldn’t be an outcast. I had to feel important. In elementary school I ended up verbally abusing some kids in my school. I never thought anything of it. I thought it was the cool thing to do. When some kids would pick on me, for example this boy called me ‘fat’, I would put on this front that I was ‘tough’ and bully them back. I never realized how much it could hurt the other person. I never realized how much I was destroying someone’s pride and ego.

When I went to middle school me and my friends were being bullied in school by this girl who was held back one year in the 6th grade. I remember her making fun of me because I was wearing a Santa Clause hat around the holidays. I was embarrassed but I pretended it didn’t phase me. Me and my friends would secretly plot our revenge on her. That same year, my best friend Mandy was bullied because of her eyebrows. They weren’t like everyone else’s. I remembered they chased her 5 blocks from our school just to point and laugh at her. I ran with her. I cried with her. It hurt me so much. I remember that same year, a lot of people ganged up on my best friend, Chrissy. They would make fun of her nose and call her a ‘lesbian’ and slacker behind her back. I always stuck up for her, being that she was my best friend. She and my other best friend Mandy were frenemies. They would act nice to each other and do lots of things together, but would secretly talk about and make fun of each other behind each other’s backs. It was becoming weird, eventually I had to pick a side. I know now that it shouldn’t have gone down like that, I shouldn’t have had to make a decision like that. But I did. I chose Chrissy.

Me and Chrissy sat on a separate lunch table from my class. We called it ‘The Cool Table’ and everyone from the other table quickly left and joined us. Mandy stayed because she knew we were officially enemies. She cried that day too. I stopped caring. I became heartless. At the end of the year, I remembered I’d walked into a different classroom, to hand a student something. I remember all the kids saw me and said ‘she’s ugly’ I heard them laughing. I heard what they were saying. I remember later that day some girl’s in my afterschool club were whispering about it. It hurt me a lot. I felt so ugly that day. Unfortunately, I put up this ‘tough girl’ image so I made it seem like I didn’t care and anyone who talked about it was going to get ‘beat up’.

The last year of my middle school. I started bullying Mandy again. I was mean to her. I would make fun of her constantly. When I saw Sherald on the street one day, I walked up to her and beat her up. I was just a horrible person. In class we had been discovering about cyberbullying. I didn’t realize that I was a cyberbully or a bully period. It felt normal to be this way to people. It felt like the ‘cool’ thing to do. I never realized I was actually hurting people. I graduated from Junior High never knowing the horror I was.

When I went to High School, I realized that it was different from Junior High. Bigger. Scarier. Me and Chrissy went to the same high school. Some how we’d stay real close best friends throughout all Junior High. During my freshmen year I had gotten into an altercation with some girls. They would threaten me. My friends never defended me. I felt helpless. I started cutting school everyday. Eventually, I couldn’t deal with it. I left. I didn’t even realized I was being bullied. I didn’t realize bullying drove me away from school. I ended up going to 4 different high school until I felt safe enough to go to school. I tried a lot of times to get homeschooled. That didn’t work out though. In a way the emotional and verbal bullying, and sometimes cyberbullying made me slowly suicidal. I began cutting myself. I was going crazy.

Later during the summer of my sophmore year, my friend Mandy returned in my life. I cried and told her all my problems. She was sympathetic and understood. Chrissy had betrayed me for the new girl at my school, we were no longer friend, still aren’t. Me and Mandy talked about unresolved issues we had and the way I would bully her. I realized it was more of my insecurites getting the best of me and the need to be cool and to stick up for Chrissy. I didn’t realize I had hurt her so much, even when I did see her cry. I thought she was just doing it to get sympathy from people.

I realized now Mandy was better than me. She was stronger than me. She was ‘tougher’ than me. She roughed it out in school everyday –perfect attendance (she has the award to prove it), even while she was getting bullied.

Me I was a coward. I ran away. Repeatedly. Even now I find myself giving up when the going gets tough. I know how it feels. I know how it feels to be a bully, a bystander, and a target. I was all 3. I’m sure most people are. I know now it’s not ok to be any of them. If you’re a bully obviously you have some insecurites built up in yourself that you’re just taking out on everyone else. Trying to make your self seem better, when you’re actually not. If you’re a bystander, you’re a coward. You can’t take a stand for what’s right and speak up. It helps a lot to know that some one has your back. If you are a target, you have to speak up also and let the world know what’s going on, before you start succumbing to the lies and hurting yourself for it. I succumbed and hurt my self for some of things I was told. Not even by friends and schoolmates, family too, but that’s a different story. Bullying has obviously been a major factor throughout all my life. It’s funny how it took me until recently to realized that. I guess I just never realized...I know better this time. I’m taking a stand this time.

I graduated from that school, never realizing how many people I hurted. It was despicable.

By: Anonymous

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Words Hurt, But They Also Can Cure

Posted: 10/10/2011

I'm bipolar. When I'm happy, I'm too happy. And when I'm sad, there's too much sadness weighing me down, and every negative thing, every anger, every pain and suicidal thoughts pop up. I've attempted to cut a few times before, but I never did do it. I still attempt to cut until now, but less often. I started having these suicidal and self-harm thoughts about a year ago. I thought it was normal; but then, I realized it wasn't and I found out that this is a sign of having a bipolar disorder. I haven't had consultation from a doctor or anything, and I've never talked to anyone about it. I'm afraid to let go of what's been holding me back from everything. I'm moderately bullied in school, and I am a loner. I have friends, but I'm invisible. Whenever I talk, no one listens; Whenever I speak my mind out about my opinions, no one cares. I envy people I see in my school who are popular or who get to be noticed by others; people who have a better life than me even though they don't deserve it, I guess. I feel like I deserve a much better life; a much brighter day. I pour out all my emotions through writing, and I dream of being a singer and author someday. I'd like to radiate inspiration to people who are just like me - who have their insecurities. People would come up to me and tell me, "You're fat." My classmate would call me fake, and wannabe or trying hard. And everyday, I eat less. Sometimes, I don't eat at all, just so I could lose weight. Some people would sometimes tease me because of my frizzy hair, and bushy brows. I just want to, for once, be noticed and recognized for doing my best. But, the recognition never really happens. Luck never really came my way.

Demi, you have been such an inspiration to me. I tried to do my best to stop myself from attempting to cut, and I still try my bets until now, the day I heard your song "Skyscraper"; the day I read your story; the day I realized that I'm not all alone. I may not know you people reading this, but I thank you for keeping me company. Someday, I'd like to be a singer, and I'd want to put up something like this; I'd write songs for people who suffer the same hurt I suffer.

Words hurt, and they cure as well.

It's going to be okay. It's going to be better. I'm stronger now. And, hopefully, even better. And even though I always end up disappointed by the unchanged days, I still keep that faith and I still believe that a better day is gonna come; that something's going to change for the better. Keep that faith in you. You're strong. I'm strong. We all are. And these weaknesses of ours just prove that we are stronger than the people who go on, smiling all the way without pains. Every drop of tear shows how truly strong we are.

By: Erika

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Student With Autism

Posted: 10/10/2011

I care because my fellow classmate and I have been looking out for an autistic kid in my school. He is always being bullied, but we care. We stand up for him in anyway possible. Bullying is not fun.  See it.  Say it. Stop it.

By: Joan

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