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Friendships: Essential Element of Community Inclusion
excerpt from Point of Departure, Vol. 4, No. 2...PACER Center...Winter, 1999
by Willa Hathaway
"Life is nothing without friendship."
-Cicero
What would it feel like if you had no friends? Angela Novak Amado, Executive Director of the Human Services Research and Development Center in Minnesota, emphasized the importance of building social relationships between persons with and without disabilities in a recent presentation to parent trainers and advocates. Her organization has been working to shift how residential, rehabilitation and social service agencies interact with the individuals with disabilities whom they serve, "moving from protecting, caregiving or training to supporting people in friendships, relationships, and community membership." According to Amado, people with disabilities are often physically in the community but are still socially isolated. However community should be conceived of as a network of friends, not a geographic location, says Amado. Service providers must realize and act on this understanding of community in order to be more effective.
Amado identified four principles as the foundation of a shift in the community paradigm:
- Relationships are primary.
- The role of staff must be as community connectors.
- Inclusion means relationships.
- People have to be asked to be a friend.
A change of attitude is necessary if service providers are to promote policies and practices that support actual community inclusion, suggests Amado. Agencies and staff must understand that inclusion means providing opportunities for developing relationships rather than simply going places and doing things. It means understanding that community is not just a place, but "an experience, a sense of belonging."
The service system seems to be based on an assumption that, unlike people without disabilities, people with disabilities will be happy and satisfied if they receive adequate physical care and learn more skills directed toward independence. In fact, says Amado, ".the main ingredient of happiness and satisfaction is how much love we have in our lives." And this, she contends, is true for everyone.
The staff of service agencies, then, must become "community connectors." Amado's conception of this role includes "introducing persons with disabilities to nondisabled community members, assisting people in joining community associations and clubs, and providing ongoing support in deepening relationships between persons with and without disabilities." It may include asking nondisabled people to help generate opportunities for social connections for people with disabilities. It may mean requesting an individual member of a club or group to invite a compatible person with a disability to join their group or meet individually. It will probably mean providing rides, having discussions about concerns, and facilitating meeting opportunities until the individuals become better acquainted with each other.
The principles that Amado has outlined can also be helpful to families as they advocate for the inclusion of their children with disabilities in community activities. They may provide a framework for collaborating with service providers and a focus for their own activities as they encourage the growth of outside relationships for their own children with disabilities. What should parents do to promote community relationships? Involve school-age youth in community associations and groups. Look for recreation programs that are friend oriented rather than activity oriented. Include programs oriented toward co-worker support and social contacts in a student's individualized transition programs.
Families can also benefit from taking time to look at who is already included in their own "circle of support": the people with whom they are most intimately involved; those who are very good friends; groups in which they are involved; paid service providers of all kinds. In this way families can identify what their present community supports are and where the potential exists to enhance current connections or pursue new ones.
Friendships are important for anyone to feel like he or she belongs. As parents, educators, and service agencies seek ways to include young people with disabilities in community housing and employment, they should not lose sight of the fact that friendships are also a basic necessity of life.
PACER's site offers many PDF files for download, which require 
