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Doing it for others
Have I been bullied? Of course.
Coming from a separated family that has moved several times, I've gone through a lot. Being the new girl over and over is tough, but at the same time it's a blessing. Everywhere I have lived I have been picked on, had things said about me behind my back, had friends turn on me, had problems at home. I have fought through cutting myself and am still fighting through depression. The strange thing is, I fit in with the bullies socially. I'm an athlete, I'm in honors classes, I'm a typical teenager. But one thing not typical about me is how I view others. Everyone is equal to me. I am friends with at least one person in each social group in my school. I participate in theatre, I'm in band, I'm in several clubs, and I go to church regularly. I'm not afraid to talk to a stranger and make them feel important. This is why I am bullied.
I may look like some of the "popular" girls and I may participate in some of the same things as them, but I am different. I am myself and that scares them. I moved to a new school halfway through my freshman year and it's now halfway through my junior year. At first, the popular group tried to pull me into their group, which they were somewhat successful at, but once they realized who I was, I soon became a target for them. There have been plenty of rumors spread about me but people don't believe them because they know who I am. There have been many times when I feel worthless, a lot of times being at clubs where I tend to sit by myself due to the fact that the other people don't find me acceptable. But I know those people won't matter to me in the future and what they say about me doesn't matter as long as I know myself.
They have tried countless times to drag me down, and yes, at times they have done so, but as time has gone on, I've gotten stronger. I've realized though that not everyone is like me. Many people who are victims of the bullies in my school don't have the same mentality as me and don't know how to stand up to them. This is what I'm trying to do. I want to stop this bullying. Out of all the places I've lived, the place where I am currently living has been the worse when it comes to bullying, especially since everyone here basically grew up together being in such a small city. I'm the outcast, the "new girl", the freak, but also the savior.
I've stood up for many people in school, stopping the pain that those people feel every day.
I give them courage and hope for the future. This is what I do. I'm doing it for others. I hope more people decide to do the same thing because it can truly make a difference.
Don't give up and don't let the bullies succeed.
Never Give Up
When I was in 8th grade I was walking home from school and noticed two boys beating up on one boy on a dirt path that surrounded the reservoir near our school. I don’t know what it was but I immediately ran up and pushed both of the boys off of this boy whom was younger than I and that I did not know. I told both of them to get out of here now or I will come after them. Both boys hesitated then left. I reached down to the boy on the ground and pulled him up with my two hands. His face was dirty and had cuts on it. His clothes were also dirty. I asked him what had happened. He told me that they just didn’t like him because he was different than them. He said he has a learning disability. I told him look, if they ever touch you again, tell the Principal or tell me. I grew up in a neighborhood where there were very large families and I had a lot of friends unlike this boy. I was in 8th grade, he was in 7th at the time.
Years later, I went on to always help the underdog, the one who was out numbered even standing up to my own so called friends who were about to outnumber a boy one night at a high school party. That boy never forgot that night that I stepped up to the bully in my grade for him.
I went on to become a Police Officer and was one for 20 years in the Boston area. That boy from the first incident approached me in a pub 15 years later and asked my name. I replied who I was. He said, “I want to thank you for saving me back in 7th grade, I never forgot it and I’m glad you’re a Police Officer protecting others.” I was floored!! The other boy I helped at the high school party, well he thanked me years later and he became a Police Officer himself and still is one today!
Sad to say, the boy in the first story passed away at the age of 45 last month due to medical issues he had. Stay strong, never give up and remember that there are people who want to help you. Just ask, reach out and you’ll be surprised how many there are.
My Child, Somebody
Bravery to me is watching my children expose their vulnerabilities to the world, with no regard for themselves, in order to protect somebody that may not be able to. Pride is what my children give me everyday they go out into the world and have the courage to be Somebody. All three of my children have been bullied in some way or another. How they have reacted to it is what makes me the proudest as a mom. It is because of them that I wrote the following letter in hopes that people will have a better understanding about them, as well as anyone else that may be different.
Someone, Meet My Child, Somebody
I don’t know if Someone knows this, but my child, Somebody, suffers from severe anxiety. I don’t know why or how, Somebody just does. Somebody is not able to turn it on and off or decide when to worry or not. It is not easy for Somebody to pretend that everything is okay, all day, every day. Most of the time Somebody tries to be really happy, especially when Somebody is around Someone. Then there are days that Somebody’s anxiety is so high that Somebody feels nervous and sick. When Somebody is in class it can be hard for Somebody to sit still. When Somebody’s anxiety level is high, the anxiety starts to build up so much, that Somebody has to get rid of it somehow. Unfortunately, Somebody ends up fidgeting in their seat or Somebody may need to get up and walk it off. On really stressful days, it can get so bad that Somebody’s hands or feet may start to feel numb almost like they are going to sleep. In order for Somebody to get rid of that feeling, Somebody has to rub their hands together or walk to wake them up.
The best way to get Someone to understand what it is like living with anxiety is for Someone to imagine feeling their worst fear all the time or that feeling you get when you are about to make the first drop on a rollercoaster. Somebody tells me it really stinks. Our family wouldn’t wish this on anyone in the world. We wouldn’t wish it on Someone, even if it meant that Somebody would never be bullied or teased by Someone again. It is hard to live with, but Somebody chooses to be happy and tries not to dwell on it.
I hope that by sharing Somebody’s secret with Someone, they might choose to have a little more understanding and compassion not just for Somebody, but others that are struggling with Someone or Something too. I believe we will all struggle with Someone or Something at some point in our lives, so I write this for all of us out there that know Somebody struggling right now.
I am sure there is Someone out there that may want to continue to spread rumors or make fun of Somebody; there is nothing we can do to change that. Someone may be sitting laughing at Somebody right now. Well that is on you and your parents. It just has me wondering what must be going on in your life that makes you want to hurt Somebody for no other reason than to be mean. Someone, you could really be liked for being you and happy; rather than feared and mean. For those of you that stand up for Somebody, you are Somebody’s best friends and we can’t thank you enough. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do that for Somebody. We will be grateful and Somebody will be your friend for a lifetime.
To every Someone out there, friend or not, our family just wants you to know that no matter what, Somebody will not change who they are for Someone else. So maybe the next time Someone sees Somebody fidgeting or being “hyper”, Someone will remember what I have said here and just leave Somebody alone. For those of you that truly know Somebody, and the great person Somebody is, you are kind and a true friend. For you to look past Somebody’s “quirks” and like Somebody for the person they are is a testament to what kind of people you and your parents are. You really are Somebody’s hero and we just want to say thank you.
Finally, I hope that Someone remembers this…The only cure for ignorance is knowledge and I hope that you have learned Something about Somebody or Someone. Who knows maybe one day you will be Someone who wants to be Somebody’s friend. I only have one last question to ask… who are you?
Honored and proud to be,
Copyright 2013 T.Krim & SomebodysMom.org All rights reserved
Scarred from school bullying
My name is Julie and I live in Denmark (a small country in Europe). I would like to share my story with you.
I was bullied from when I was 7 until I was 14.
It started in my first school. I was a very shy girl, didn’t talk much, and had very few friends. The only real friend I had only liked me because she could push me around whenever she liked. The popular girls in my school didn’t talk with me or even acknowledge my existence, apart from when they talked about me behind my back. It wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t terrible either. In 1st grade my favorite teacher, who always used to make sure I didn’t get treated too bad, quit. That’s when the nightmare started. The girls from school would call me mean things, laugh at me, and spread nasty rumors. They would call me fat, ugly, a dwarf (I wasn’t very tall), a gnome, troll, idiot, or worse, and I’d believe them. Sometimes they even hit me, but I didn’t tell anyone because I figured it was my own fault. The boys just laughed at me or pushed me around. It got to a point where I was afraid to go to school, where I’d go to bed and hope I wouldn’t wake up.
Eventually I changed schools. My new school was o.k. nobody really talked much to me, but as long as they didn’t hit me or call me names, I was happy (almost. As close I could be at that time). Then a new girl entered my grade. I tried to be friendly and get to know her, but she manipulated me into being her minion. Eventually I broke it off with her but she now manipulated every girl in the grade (except for me) to be her minions. She decided I was annoying and began bullying me. She’d get others to do her dirty work. For example, once it was my turn to sweep the classroom after school, but she stayed around, together with two other girls. She started by calling me mean things, then she got the two other girls to hit me, until I tried to run to my bike, to go home. I had just gotten onto it, when they grabbed the bike, and with me on it shoved it, so I fell to the ground with the bike on top of me. They then called me things I’d rather not mention, and hit me some more. Eventually I got home, but I sat in the corner of my living room for an hour, trying to stop crying. I started feeling really bad again, and even became slightly bulimic. I’d eat a lot of greasy or unhealthy food, and then I’d make myself throw up in the toilet, so I wouldn’t gain any weight. I was only a bit over the “normal” BMI, but I felt huge. I started throwing up, just to get to stay home from school. I began getting nasty thoughts, suicide thoughts. The thing about words is they can hurt so much more than punches. If someone tells you enough times that you’re fat, ugly, and that this planet would be better without you, you start believing it. I begged my parents to let me change schools again, but I wasn’t allowed. I told my teacher, but he didn’t care. I’d get panic attacks, and I’d break down at least 4 times a week. My home life wasn’t good either. I had (and still have) many problems with my parents.
Eventually I changed schools, and my new school is great. Good teachers, good classmates. I still have those thoughts though. I have to struggle with suicide thoughts, depression, thoughts about cutting, loneliness and slight bulimia every day. Those schools left me scarred, and now I find it very difficult to gain friends. I have some though. I wish I could tell you, it all just went away. That I never had those thoughts again, and that everything is perfect, but that would be a lie. Its better, definitely, and sometimes I forget about it, even for several hours, but it’s never truly gone. I’m better though, and I hope to help others In my situation.
P.S. think about your words. They can hurt more than you think.
Will U Stand?
Charleigh Gere with willUstand offers advice on what YOU can do to help end bullying in your own communities. The video encourages youth to stand up, reach out, and seek out resources to help inspire bullying-free communities.
Walnut Street Theater – Philadelphia, PA
We work in two distinct ways to combat bullying. Eight years ago we commissioned a play called The Boy Who Cried Bully and featured that as part of our touring outreach company. We take shows directly out to schools and when we introduced this play we went from reaching 40,000 students a year in the Philadelphia area to 80,000. Since that first year we have featured an anti-bullying play every year and have commissioned three other plays- The Bully Buster Rides Again, Mean Girlz R Bullies 2, and Only 13. Each show is based on the Olweus Anti-Bullying program and we create a study guide for teachers to use in connection with the shows as well.
Our other program takes teaching artists and sends them directly into area classrooms creating a curriculum that uses theatre to both teach about and directly address the causes and effects of bullying. We create student generated performances where kids can teach other kids about the dangers of bullying and the best ways to combat it. The students are up on their feet directly engaged in the material. The work they have created has been inspiring and teachers have shared with us stories about the positive impact these programs have had in their schools.
Watch a preview of Walnut Street Theater’s bullying prevention shows here.
I was bullied in my middle school year when I was participating in the School Talent show. Since I love singing, I am resentful to participate in that program anymore because it has destroyed my confidence. However, it did not stop me to write my music and sing at home and joined a small studio. “Bully” has given me the chance to prove to those who put me down.
By: Irene Henderson
I’m 16 years old and I have been a victim of bullying for the past few months. I’m a junior in high school and I’ll be honest, I never thought I would be a victim. I’ve been called fat and ugly multiple times to my face by two younger boys that I don't even know who they are. Every time I see them, they will whisper something under there breath about me and then start laughing. Now, what these boys don’t know is that I have severe depression as well as social anxiety. I’ve had depression for the past two years and having this happened has raised my depression to an all time high. Since being bullied I have realized that there needs to be a stop to this. Someone needs to make a difference, everyday more and more kids are getting bullied over things they have no control over changing. Students, including myself, are scared of going to school because of how they get treated by other students. That right there should raise a red flag, no student should ever feel scared to go to school. All the administrators are always saying how school is supposed to be a fun ans SAFE learning environment. But what they don’t realize is just how many students are scared to come to a school where getting bullied is all that happens to them every single day. Bullying is increasing daily, the numbers aren’t going down. I’m willing to become apart of a teen safe zone organization or something to let victims of bullying know that there not alone. They can come to this zone to feel safe and know that what is being said to them is far from ever being true and that every single individual is amazing in there own unique ways. Bullying needs to be stopped. A difference will be made.
Bully going too far
They harass me every day they show me I’m nothing
They make me feel like the dirt under their feet
Every cut is every word that hurts
The scars remind me of the things I have went through and how badly they affected me
The deeper they are the more pain I went through
They are there forever
Just like the memories they have given me to always be in my mind
They won’t ever leave
They will haunt me
P.s Words hurt THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Be Strong! Be Who You Are!
This is my story of bullying and how its has effected my life. It actually started when I first started going to school which means kindergarden. I went to school starting off with a hearing loss which means I wear hearing aids. The kids always laughed at me. They always called me mean names and so I didn't like to come to school from the very beginning. 1st and 2nd grade came around and I wasn't growing like I was suppose to so everyone laughed at me because I was short. They even laughed because I had small ears. By 3rd grade, my grades were going down hill and so my mom and Step-dad packed my 3 brothers, my sister and I and moved 30 miles away. I started school okay but then I started getting bullied again but this time it was physical. I would come home with a bruise on the arm or some cuts on the legs; My mom would ask me what happened and I would say that I fell. At this time, Bullying wasn't a huge problem so if I would've gone to the teachers they wouldn't have done anything. But then my mom started getting suspicious and actually watched me during my recess one day and saw the person hurt me! That made my mom really mad. By then I was already in my 2nd year of school there so I was in 5th grade. I remember one day in Phy Ed, I had actually made myself faint because I couldn't run anymore but I didn't want to get laughed at so I kept running. So grades were still low so my whole family move another 15 miles. I started middle school in 6th grade. I remember being so scared because the school was huge. By 6th grade the bullying had gotten so bad that I now have depression and severe anxiety. 6th grade I had gotten my first boyfriend but it turned out he was dared to date me so I was sad for little bit. 7th grade came around and things looked like it could get better! I had made High Honors the whole year! Then 8th grade. Gosh this was the 2nd worst year yet! I failed 4 of my classes! I had gotten 3 detentions. I was never doing my homework. I failed mentally. I was never a bad kid until then. Everything was falling apart my mom and Step-dad got divorced. I had 2 surgeries on my back that year. And I also found out I have migraines! I missed a lot of school but when I was there; I was either in Trouble or not doing anything. I did pass 8th grade with a C average. Then 9th grade [high school] (my current school year) This is the worst year yet! I am failing every class, because I am afraid to look up. I think that I will see people laughing at me! When I walk through the halls; I put my music in and I just zone out! I don't like lunch because I'm afraid to eat in front of people. I don't raise my hand because I think that I'm so stupid that even my questions are stupid. I wanted to give up on life. But then I think to myself. How would my family feel? I have tried to commit suicide but every time I think of my baby sister, and my baby brother! They are seriously the only thing keeping me alive! So I been bullied so much that it has effected me physically and mentally! Bullying is truly not cool! People do give up their life's because they feel like they are unwanted. I pledge to help stop bullying! Its something no one should ever EVER have to deal with! Tips for others..... Be strong! Be who you are! Don't let society change the true you thats inside!
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